and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
