I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
