hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
