nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
