Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
