So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
