I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
