So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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