u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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