I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
