So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
