Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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