I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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