If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
