erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize