Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
