I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
