In the future we'll all be gay
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
