Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
