Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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