I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
And then he peed in my hair
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