This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
