I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
