you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
