You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
