hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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