Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
