I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Randomize
