did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
