I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
