I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
