Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
