If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
