This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
