Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
