At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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