Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
