make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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