I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
