Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
