lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
