ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize