Rock
Scissors
Fuck
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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