Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
