bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
