susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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