Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
