Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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