we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
