As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
