At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
