We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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