It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
