You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
