So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
