My Higher Power is John Stamos
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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