i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
