Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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