ADVERTISEMENT

• (602): View more from Arizona

  I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.

  Fav 6 1071 4191

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.

  Fav 26 7369 1657

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (805): View more from California

  Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.

  Fav 23 5656 1395

  share tweet
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.

  Fav 10 3362 1922

  share tweet
  

• (714): View more from California

  the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?

  Fav 19 2977 1087

  share tweet
  

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.

  Fav 2 960 1404

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (404): View more from Georgia

  The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.

  Fav 1 833 683

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  ..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!

  Fav 0 675 500

  share tweet
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.

  Fav 9 919 641

  share tweet
  

• (915): View more from Texas

  He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.

  Fav 1 538 743

  share tweet
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.

  Fav 1 547 372

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (646): View more from New York

  when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone

  Fav 0 295 147

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella

  Fav 4 57 18

  share tweet
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  I have a mailbox and I don't know why.

  Fav 0 18 28

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (813): View more from Florida

  My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery

  (941): View more from Florida

  Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old

  Fav 0 81 21

  share tweet
  

Randomize